Sunday, May 13
Happy Mother's Day! But. . . .why isnt my mum celebrating it?? :((
Saturday, April 21
Why is it that as I grow older, I feel more sad? Is it because I am starting to understand what has been going on around me for the past few years? & that the reason for being so happy previously was just simply because I didnt understand or spend a little time to think about them? what seems to be the cause of these unhappiness?? :((
Tuesday, March 27
Everytime you dont reply my text, I die a little inside.
Sunday, March 25
I've been giving my friends advices so often that sometimes I forget that I myself need help.
Monday, March 12
This feeling inside is indescribable. Feels so troubled.
Tuesday, March 6
My birthday in 5mins. (:
Saturday, March 3
Suddenly I've forgotten how it feel like to like/have a crush on someone.
Tuesday, February 21
I didnt go for her. Now that she's got a bf then i realised how foolish I was.
Wednesday, December 7
2011 is almost nearing the end and its getting busier due to term test/projects. school's been fine, not great. house's been bad but fine. my dad kinda became more lenient i guess. hopefully im right. sisters have always been the same, nv changing their behavior. sad to say my mum and dad quarrelled and my mum left house. currently she renting a home outside and my sisters are forking out cash to pay for her. complicated background both my parents have and its really shocking to hear what my dad spoke of her. but in any case this feeling feels like shit. it doesnt feel like a family. i have my mum secretly coming back just to see me and at the same time trying to avoid him by leaving b4 he returns home from work. it just feels shitty. i feel parents who get a divorce live life better(i feel). but sure a divorce is definitely not the solution but staying separated like this is also not the solution. and who gets the shit when parents quarrel? the kids. i don really give a damn about why they're quarrelling but to the extent of my mum leaving house so suddenly it just dont feel right. every time when im out, i see happy families together having family outings, family fun. i see dads playing games with their kids and spending so much time with them accompanying them do what they like. but it seems like for me i am accompanying my dad do what he likes. i feel happy for those kids and just upset that i dont have a family half as good as that. everyday i'll try to make myself happy, keep things to myself, sharing to my close frens to see what advices they have for me but really no one knows how you feel unless you've really been through it. i find loads of distractions to make me laugh and forget my troubles. in secondary school everyday in school with frens simply made my day. i dont mind staying in school for the whole day and returning home just to sleep. now i've graduated and entered poly. sure you have frens but how many of them actually are close to you and how many new frens actually brings joy to you. still this cannot be changed and you must live life through it. its nt easy and thats why im trying to find a few good pals in poly to hang out with chillax joke but everyone seems to be on a different frequency so how to make frens with them? nt trying to say i choose my frens but its really hard to get along if you dont really have anything in common. in poly you have all sorts of ppl. ppl trying to be cool, hardworking ppl, the funny ppl, and of cos the nerds. but whichever group they're from as long as you click together well, its fine. we are all different individuals we dont have to copy one another or try to become you. just be yourself.
no one really knows your life story.
so just be strong and live life as it is.
Saturday, November 12
9th November 2011
In memory of my buddy
You will always be in our hearts
R.I.P Toh Jia Wei
